Still awake...

It's 12:16 am and I'm still awake. I can't sleep. My mind is exhausted and my eyes are ready to close but the rest of my body is awake. I don't know how much longer I can stand to be awake but I'm going to endure this last burst of energy.

I spent almost 3 hrs on the phone this evening. Realizing life is way too damn short!! All the things I want in life are right in front of me. I have my amazing family and I've lovingly dedicated my life to! And 2 incredible best friends who I LOVE DEARLY!!! And talents I have created into hobbies.

I am trying to make this a drive point in my life where I am ready to try anything. To fight for what I believe. In my wants and needs. That I will be there for the people in my life. I want to be there. Because one day I just might need them here. If I keep making promises I cannot keep, I will find myself alone. I need to make this work. I need to make my own changes. I need to say I've done everything I can, exhausted every option, and then I can move on. There has been so many things I have given up on. If I have come this far, why give up now?

I would like to personally thank anyone and everyone who I've vented to in the last week. Listened to my complaints, tradgedies, and to me cry. This has been an emotional week for me for so many reasons. I need to change something. Because the "definition to Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result." -Albert Einstein.

I need a different result. I cannot change others but I can change myself in hopes that others may want to change also. I am hoping this triggers a better change in all of us.

To change. To moving forward. To moving up!!