Now my mind won't stop thinking. I can't stop thinking. What did I say? Did I really say it? Did I mean it? I mean I said it, so it must have meant something. What exactly is the advice I should take? I am still overwhelmed. I want to run for a REALLY long time till I can't anymore. I want to exhaust myself from my thoughts. I want to cry till I can't anymore. Sometimes I wish I could just sit and not say anything. Not a word, just sit there. And breathe. Not think, just be present with a friend, holding their hand and just breathe. Can I just sit there and not say anything? Can our thoughts just connect for a moment of "Yes, I understand. I don't know why or how this is possible, but I understand!!!"? Time, right? Time... okay, time... So when do I know I've got it right? When do I know when enough is enough? When do I know when to stop, or when to go? Where do I go? Who do I go too? What do I say? How do I say it? What do I want? What do I need?
My thoughts overwhelm me of my air, my life, and peace. Why can't I just let it go, let it just be? Why can't I just move on and just make the best of everything? Why do I want more than I have? Is it because I know it's possible? Is it because I know I can make it work? Is it because I have found a challenge I cannot resist? Is it because I think even though I am at a breaking point I can just push it just another inch? When do I stop and let someone take control? When do I just say okay show me, no questions asked? When do I take control? When do I say this is what "I" want? When do I say this is what "I" need? When will I be right? When can I just learn to say yes, I was wrong? When do I stop waiting for what isn't going to come? When will I just go for it?
Maybe I think too much. Maybe I don't think enough. Maybe I just don't know how to just let it go. Maybe I am over exaggerating things. Maybe I just want my feelings justified. Maybe I just want to be heard. Maybe I just want to listen. Maybe I want to know how you really feel. Maybe I just want that connection back. Maybe I just want to be just yours for a few moments. Maybe I just want you to be mine for a few moments more. Maybe I just want us to try and understand. Maybe I just wanna scream. Maybe I just want comfort. Maybe I just want to comfort you. Maybe I just need a break. Maybe I need more time..........
More.... TIME.... I need more time.......
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