Sock it to 'em!

I did it! I finished Louie's socks on Wednesday night. I will post pictures when I am able to get my model to pose for a photo shoot! Or at least his legs. I would pose, however I don't think my feet will be long enough!

Now, I now have several unfinished projects and 3 coming up that I will be paid for. And several that need to be done for birthdays. BUT I had decided to make myself a scarf. I haven't do that yet. Infact I don't think I have actually made myself anything. So I decided I need a Autumn and Winter scarf. :D It even matches my wool coat, and even the lining! WOOT WOOT.

I am also enjoying going to knitting group. The ladies there are absolutely wonderful! I learned 2 new techniques last night. SUPER EXCITED!

^ ^ ^ Wrote a couple of days ago. I needed to get pictures from the "MODEL".

I am also going to post a picture of my scarf I am making! :D

The length of the leg and I turned the heel!

My Heel Flap!

Heel gusset and turn!

Man are they long!

Ribbed up the leg and on top of the foot to keep the socks up!

"Ribbed For Her Pleasure!" (knitting humor) LOL!

"My" scarf!

The last of my French Silk Pie. :*(

It was yummy while it lasted!

OOO... Pretty!



The scarf is made from Marks and Kattens Big Trend. (70% Acrylic/30% Wool) The colors are 400 and 401. The Skeins are 100g each. And Super soft! One of the balls has stripes that are black, light gray, dark gray, and charcoal. And the other ball has Navy Blue, blue, blackish brown, hunter green, dark purple... that is as far as I've knitted, I also know there is some gray. I will post more pictures soon!

The socks are made from Cascade 220 Superwash Wool, Black. I used 2 balls, each 100g. 

Success!  

My BUTT made the front page of the Kitsap Sun!!!

Silverdale's Farmer's Market!

Left to right:
Sergio, Louie, Chevy(dog - min pin), Juli, and Me!!

Ah ha ha ha.... funny. Thought I'd share!

I want to make a difference...

...Like everyone else. I want to say "I Was Here" (Lady Antebellum). I want people to acknowledge I passed through life. I want people to be happy and not feel shameful, sad, angry, or annoyed at the thought of me. I want people to laugh, remember our good times, and share our memories.

I also want to do that with everyone I come in contact with. Even if they have not shown their best character around me. Or I haven't done so either. I want to be a good person. I want to face my fears and demons and move passed them I want to grow and have people share that with me. I want to share it with people.

Within this process called "life" I don't want to forget who really matters in my life. I want to have the constant reminder of who brought me to where I am right now. I want to be thankful. I want to give people the credit for being them. Because without every love, hate, laugh, cry, happiness, sadness, heart to heart, gossip, hug, kiss, push, smile, stare, sneer, lust, honesty, gift, and selfishness, I wouldn't be who I am. Those who didn't give me the time of day made it harder for me to trust people, but now also makes me to be more grateful for those who did, and are still in my life. The people I pushed away I now am beginning to realize how much I lost when I did. How I didn't deserve them then and wasn't ready for that type of commitment. I had to grow, I had to learn, I had to be pushed and shoved, live and love, to find the truth.

I am growing. I am constantly growing. If I let ignorance get the best of me, I will not continue to grow. I need to learn humility or I will be cold toward others. I need to learn to pick and choose my battles. I need to live life to the fullest and be grateful who has chosen to stay with me for this ride, my roller coaster. I need to understand that not everyone is made to sit on this ride with me. And not everyone is going to be able to stand it at all times. They may need days where they leave and come back, or maybe they are carousel people, they have tried the roller coaster and it wasn't meant for them. Maybe they aren't made for roller coasters, or my type of roller coaster. Maybe they are the roller coaster and I am the carousel. Regardless, I need to thank them for their company, and hope when (or if) they come back I can stay grateful for their time, energy, and availability they had to share with me.

We should have more compassion for one another. I want to learn compassion. I want to learn how to give responsively. I want to learn how to take with out guilt or greediness. I want to learn to share this Earth with everyone in mind. Good and bad. Happy and Sad. Alive and Passed. Young and Old. We all are people of this Earth, we were all brought here for a purpose much bigger than us. We are shown this everyday with Miracles and Politics. We all need more compassion for everyone.

^ I wrote this Friday Evening and didn't get the chance to post it. :D

Today is Monday. And I am exhausted! Louie and I were up past midnight, "not tired". So we stayed up and watched Numb3rs and talked about fishing season next month.

Easter was a blast and the kids had so much fun. We went to my mom's house for breakfast. Went home and I did some more cooking. Then we went back to my parents house and spent some time with them. The kids and I made a visit next door to see the Chamberlain Family before dinner. Then we ate dinner at my mom's, colored eggs, and ate dessert. We didn't get home till 10. It was a long day but fun!

We did an Easter Egg hunt and cook out at my sister's on Saturday, the kids had a blast. The kids were loaded up on candies, coloring books, toys, and food. It really was a lot of fun. They even ran through the sprinkler with my niece Avari. :D And we took turns spraying each other with the hose!

I got the chance to meet my dad's sister Mila and her husband Ben. Lets just say it was interesting and I am glad I got to meet them and that is it. I know that sounds sad and so uncompassionate of me, but that is really how I feel.

I am truly a Gemini. I have 2 personalities. I can be nice, easy going, and social. But when I am irritated everyone knows. I have been doing my best to be a more compassionate person and less of a frustrated one. I am working on holding my tongue when my opinion or the topic doesn't matter. Letting go of "having to ALWAYS be right". It's hard. (No really it is.) I am also learning not to take things people say personally.-That is also difficult. Especially when some of the things they say can really hurt me, and make me defensive. I want to believe what they say is true, and not a mean gesture or comment said jokingly. I found myself several times this weekend where I held my tongue and found myself dealing with the pain later. I find baking and knitting give me a place to excel and let go of things. Whether I am rolling out dough working out my frustrations and pain, or working really hard on a knitting project and letting myself release my irritated feelings with every stitch. I find blogging also a stress reliever. It's a place where I don't have to point fingers, and I can acknowledge my strengths, the places I need to work on, and set my goals. At the end of every project, post, and meal, I can celebrate my product and my hard work. Leaving me a happier person ready to celebrate others.

I have come a long way since I have married Louie. He really is my very best friend and has made me a better person. I need not to forget that. Though he frustrates me at times, I know I do the same to him. We are complete opposites with completely different drives. Yet we find ourselves married with 4 children. Sometimes I wonder how we got here. I wonder what we will do when we no longer have full time parenting jobs, and are just "on call". What will we do to keep ourselves and each other busy and happy? Will we travel? Will we open up our own business? Will we just do our own things? Will we follow each other doing the things we each love? Whatever it is, I hope and pray it involves LOVE, Happiness, and Health.

Easter Dessert 2011...

A hit! I did it. I made a French Silk Pie and my crust didn't stick and it was awesome. My Rhubarb Custard Pie, I found out I am not a rhubarb fan but the pie was okay and still needs some tweaking. And my White Truffle and Raspberry Cheese cake was a favorite, and it was amazing. I did it. Next time I will bake with a pan on the bottom so it won't leak to the the bottom of my oven and smoke up my house and leave the spring form pan together to add the glaze so it doesn't run down out of the cake. Otherwise still a HIT!

Last night I was baking from 8 PM Saturday night to 1:30 AM Sunday morning.
I made 3 desserts and 2 loaves of bread. SCORE! And Sunday (today) I did the finishing touches on the cheesecake and made 1 batch of 2 different granola bars (mini chocolate and peanut butter/oatmeal raisin) for my niece and nephew for Easter. Double score!

SUPER EXCITED. So here they are!:

All three desserts!

White truffle and raspberry cheesecake!

Rhubarb custard pie!

French silk pie!!

YUMMY!

HAPPY EARTH DAY!

POSTING DETAILS ABOUT AUNT FLOW (MENSTRUALS). If you don't want to read please skip this blog post. Thank you!

So Happy Earth Day. About a year ago I decided to buy a Diva Cup and go "GREEN" on my period. I was super excited and wasn't completely sure I what I was getting myself into, but I was determined. I was blessed with horrible cramps and heavy bleeding during my menstruals. As the years have gone on and the children I have had it has not gotten better, but not so much worse but heavier and tiring. I am still working on my Anemia, which I believe is a key element to my heavy flows.

Meanwhile due to my heavy flows, the cost of feminine items were starting to cost me. With a family of 6 with one income, I would much rather spend the $30 to $40 every other month on food or other items in the house rather than my feminine items. So after I came over this I decided to research it more. Then I found out that people buy reusable pads... I thought ew... gross. But it is not different than cloth diapering, which I did not think was gross. (I did not cloth diaper, but now that I know more, wish I did.)

So as I was researching I was getting more and more excited. I found a pattern to make my own panty liners, and bought a bunch of cozy flannel to make them from. And man are they fun! And they wash up so very well! I love them! And no more chafing or rashes from those harsh store bought panty liners. I think I had a slight allergy to the bleached products. Not to mention that you are putting them against and in your body. Not such a good idea...

So the Diva Cup. I love it! I really really really do. It has been amazing, and such a life saver. No more buying tampons and pads of all sizes due to your flow. Less leaking. And I know more about myself and my flow. I chart how much my flow is every month and when I am going to start. During that week I need to carry 5 things with me. My cup, 2 panty liners, a plastic bag, and wipes. I don't have to change it till it's full, and if it isn't full I can wait up to 12 hours before I need to empty it out and clean it and cleaning it is a cinch.

The challenges I had was trying to get it to open up. Apparently this is the most common challenge. It took me 4 months to get completely used to it and comfortable in public with it. Once I got how to open it up and how to clean it in public restrooms (which was a challenge) it isn't a big change at all. I am more comfortable about it. So comfortable that I am willing to share this blog with you.

So there are more Menstrual Cup Brands out there. All over the world. Different styles, colors, sizes and firmness. I happened to come across one of the top brands for my needs.

So you buy it, wash it between emptying and sterilize after you are done with your flow. Every year you buy a new one and toss out your old one. Simple! No more pads or tampons. And all you need is panty liners for back up. :D

DIVA CUP! Here is the link to read more facts and answers about it. What size is best for you. And how to buy one. I found that you can also buy them at Central Markets now. :D

Here are my panty liners:

^ How to use one! :D Not Graphic, but very informative! :D

The Busy Week Just Started...

So Easter falls on the April 24th this year. Which happens to be this following Sunday... EEK! And I have volunteered to make dessert(s)... 2 which I have not attempted to make before and the other one being my ultimate favorite which I have to grease the pan generously so the crust doesn't stick to the pan...

So my dessert plan....

*A Rhubarb Custard Pie (which was my grandmother's (mom's mom) specialty and my mom's favorite, which I have never had...)
*A White Chocolate Truffle and Raspberry Cheesecake (which looks challenging...but I had at a baby shower... OMG! Orgasm in your mouth!!)
*A French Silk Pie (My favorite Pie in the whole wide world. 4 months ago I had no idea what this was and now I am in LOVE!)

My ingredient list is a mile long ...
Meal Foreplay... (LOL! (inside joke) and I heart you too...)

Rhubarb Custard
A recipe for a double 9" crusts
3 eggs
2 Cups White Sugar
1/4 Cup flour
1 TSP Vanilla
3 TBS Milk
1 TBS Butter*
4 Cups diced Rhubarb*

A White Chocolate Truffle and Raspberry Cheesecake
Crust:
1 1/4 CUP shortbread cookie crumbs*
2 TBS sugar
1/4 CUP ground almonds*
1/3 Cup Unsalted Butter*
2 drops almond extract
Filling:
4 oz white chocolate*
4 eggs
2 lbs cream cheese*
2/3 CUP sugar
3 TBS flour
1 TSP Vanilla
1/4 TBS Almond Extract
Layering:
1 CUP of Seedless raspberry preserves*
Topping:
4 oz white chocolate*
3/4 light cream*
1/4 TSP vanilla
Raspberry Sauce:
1-10oz bag of frozen raspberries*
1 - 2 TBS confectioners sugar
Garnish:
Whole raspberries*
Warmed apricot jam (whole jar)*
Toasted Slivered Almonds

French Silk Pie
Crust:
8 TBS Salted Butter*
1/3 cup chopped pecans
1 1/3 cup flour
1/4 cup light brown sugar*
1/4 TSP salt
Filling:
12 TBS Salted butter*
1 CUP granulated sugar
3 oz unsweetened Chocolate
1 1/2 TSP Vanilla
3 eggs
Whip Cream*
Chocolate Curls

Everything that has a * by it I need to buy. Who wants to come with me? And who wants to fork up the bill? And if you do, then I will let you "share" dessert with us. That's a promise. But you must share!

Tomorrow is knitting group and Thursday I take our son Sergio to the Allergist to be tested for... you guessed it, Allergies. His eczema does not do well with dry weather and it seems that even if the weather is not "dry" he has flair ups. I want to make sure it is just eczema and eczema is not caused by allergies. Lela has an Easter egg hunt on Friday, that I need to buy eggs and fill. Mila has a movie coming up that I don't know much about and need to ask her teacher about.

I get to go out shrimping with the "brothers" (My husband, brother D.J., and brother in law Anthony) on the 7th! YAY, my first time fishing on a boat, and my first time shrimping. Louie is getting ready for a fishing trip mid-May, and it'll be just me and the kiddies for an extended weekend. Woot... and car less... what to do, what to do... I would say bake. We could do that. And if the weather permits to be nice we could walk to the park. I should have projects planned around that time too. EEE!

BUSY BUSY!... We should have started working out this week but have not been able to wake up at 5:30 in the morning, even the kids have been sleeping in till 7:30. Hmm...

Tonight I am making Lasagna. I have the ingredients that need to be used. Oh and bread too...

Now to clean up the kitchen and do the Untouched laundry... Music is the pick me up today. :D I will post pictures and reviews of the pies and cake after Sunday. Wish me luck. Again the bill for the list is still up for grabs...  ;)

See You When I See You...

I really love this song... It is right up there with Steve Holy's "Love Don't Run" and Kenny Chesney's "Seven Days". I can't get enough of them.

Sometimes I think of my past. Things I have done and said. Choices I've made. I am amazed of where I am, and how I think and feel. How much I've grown, how much I still have to grow.

Though as the time passes there are people I still think of. Some more than others. They come to me in my thoughts, and in my dreams. I know I can consciously think of them during the day, but what about my unconscious dreams?

Sometimes I am tempted to go to someone and ask them about them. I am a believer that dreams have a purpose. Whether they analyze the past and present, represent your feelings, and my unease favorite; Deja Vu. (Which has happened to me on numerous occasions.) Are the content in dreams measured by science or energy? Dreams, are they just the roaming of the mind, or can we connect to one another through them? You hear about having people who have passed on come to you in a dream. Or your dreams will tell you when something is wrong. I have predicted babies, and relationships for people. (All completely random...) What about fantasy's? Or the most vivid of dreams, the realistic ones? (Fantasies and nightmares alike.)

I have this one dream that comes to me. Often. At first I kinda made it up and went along with the ride. Now it feels more real every time I dream it. It isn't every night. But when I do, I almost wonder if the people that are in it feel it too. The odd thing is the people in the main part of my dream, I don't know them. I even see faces and feel emotions.

It's a simple dream. I am traveling. The reason always changes from vacation to massage work/charity purposes. In the dream I am always traveling by myself. I find myself in an airport waiting for my time to board my plane or I am just landing. I run into this person (literally), I've never met him, but he seems familiar from somewhere. We exchange smiles and excuse mes.
If the flight is for leisure I end up seeing him on the plane and we bump into each other again and end up talking the whole flight and part ways.
If it's for work, I end up seeing him during one of my work projects. Whether he is a client, working along side me, or a person in passing. Either way he shows up after the airport bump-in. Sometimes we talk, sometimes it's just a friendly smile in passing.
It's simple conversation. But a conversation that changes my life. He challenges me to think, to strive and live. It is always the same person. I have never met him before, but he seems so familiar.

Who is he? What does he mean? Is he just him, or does he have a metaphorical meaning? Regardless... it must be just one of those mysteries of life. I used to have dreams like this growing up. Different, but I was always somewhere new, meeting new people. Neat... Mysteries!

Baking Stuff!

White Bread!! (My first)

Oatmeal Raisin Granola Bars (my first!)

Grilled Cheese with the white bread I made!

Louie's socks!

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Baking!

I have been baking a lot lately! I made a basic white bread and granola bars on Wednesday. The white bread was good... BUT the granola bars, I couldn't stop eating them! They are truly addicting!

Tonight I am making bean and red rice burritos, and shrimp cocktail. Today I am going to be making peanut butter granola bars, I might even throw in some chocolate chips!

The project I am currently knitting is socks for Louie. I am super excited. He wanted some knee high wool socks for fishing. I said I could do it! So I am. He is going to Neah Bay to fish for Ling Cod, Sea Bass? and Halibut. YUM!!

I also went to knitting group the first time on Wednesday. I had a blast talking "yarn sillys"! Met some inspiring women. Even one lady sheers her own sheep! HOW AWESOME is THAT!?!?!?! I wanna see and do that. Really. I would even be willing to work. :D

I also have a couple of projects to knit soon. My sister Jenna asked me to make a Winston the Lion for her best friends' son. He loved Elias'. And I also have been asked to make a set of wool Bella mittens. I am super excited. I haven't made mittens yet. But I have made arm warmers. EEE! Both of these projects I will be paid for. Money to go to my trip to see my best friend in Alabama!

Well the kiddies are hungry. I am going to feed them. I will also post pictures of my baking and my current progress of Louie's socks.

Motivation...I think I slept it off...

So I need to clean up the kitchen and make frioles, and maybe some granola bars! (Thanks to Stephanie for the recipe). I am also thinking of making white bread today! EEE! I should also put away the laundry and clean the dinning room table... and knit Louie's socks!

So I am knitting Louie some black knee high superwash wool socks for fishing next month. He will be at the coast, at the ocean. So it'll probably be cold! I am so excited. This last weekend I learned a new Cast On, Norwegian Cast On. And yesterday I learned how to cast on for cuff down socks on a long circular needles with out having to use double pointed needles from YouTube.com! EEE!

Today I am going to get a break and go to my first knitting group. How exciting is this? SUPER EXCITING! So I need to clean and put away stuff so I feel accomplished and like I really deserve it... LOL!

I've been dreaming some really fun and crazy dreams. More adventurous then anything. Meeting new people and people from my past. From the dream dictionary it seems that I am trying to find myself and express it. It's funny that is says that, because I've been saying that for some time now. I have been dreaming of dancing. All kinds. Traveling. Traveling to Massage. I wonder if these are just symbols and wants or if it's going to happen.

I think I long to travel. I didn't think I ever would. Sure there were places that I wanted to visit. Now I want to learn. I want to travel abroad. Starting small and visit closer then eventually move bigger to states, then to countries. I really would like to knock Canada off my list... There are some big cities I'd like to visit. I am trying to find out what I want to try in all these places. I know every place has their own staple food. I'd like to try that too. Seattle for their Coffee and Chocolate. Like Philly had their Philly Cheese steaks. Cheesecake in New York. In Bones they have a diner and a bar I would like to find. On Chicago Code they mentioned two places on the North side for Pizza! (I love Pizza!) In LA I believe they have a Mexican restaurant called Ciudad (meaning city in Spanish). I would like to go to a Chef Ramsey and Emeril Lagasse restaurant. I want to go to cheese factories and try cheeses! (I heart CHEESE!). Maybe these are just bucket wish lists. But reasonable right? 

But the places I want to go to first I want to spend at least a day at a Children's Hospital. Massage and volunteer. I want to be humbled by the humble.

I need to get my license. . . . . .

The stuff I haven't posted....

Mary Jane pre-strap!
Mary Janes with strap!

Addi's Birthday Legarmers!

Teaching MIL to knit!!
MIL first knit project!

My first pasties... that didn't fit but turned out super cute!

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In some moods...

Lots of them... I feel happy, sad, motivated, lazy, frisky, determined.... so many emotions running through my head. I have no idea where to start or finish.

Most of all I feel spontaneous. Like I want to try something new. Be in a place I have never been. Meet people I have never met. Learn something. Be optimistic. Have no idea what to expect and to just enjoy life. Smile. LOTs of them. Dance! I wanna dance! I want to let go of everything that bothers me and to enjoy a ride of dancing. I want an out of body experience.

I want to get my massage license so I can practice. I want to set up my chair and table in several places and take pictures and save them in an album. I want to travel and spread my love of massage to as many people as I can. I want to meet new people, different cultures, lives. I want to learn new techniques (spa, sports, treatment...). I want to not just be good but amazing. I want my love of massage not to be just a love, but I want to be really good at it. I want my energy to flow evenly. I want to be centered. I want my clientel to feel better then they did when they came to me. I want them to want to come back for more, and not feel obligated. I want to learn more about energy. I think I want to go back to school for Reiki, Craniosacral Therapy and Accupressure. I want to help heal people not just physically but mentally. I want to help better people with a true talent and not just the love of it. I want to strife for AMAZING. I want to be humble through the whole process. Be able to take any and all compliments of any sort. I want to be able to handle critizium. I don't care about the income, just as long as it pays the bills. I sincerely want to do my best.

I need to want this. I need to want it so bad that I am not going to let anything stand in my way. I hate doing things like I have too, or half assed. I want to accept what comes my way and take it as a blessing or an obstacle that I can over come. I think if I can do this, I can overcome anything. ANYTHING!

The Middle!!!

- Jimmy Eat World

"There isn't enough Novelas is the world to satisfy their need for drama, so they have to create their own...just pitiful." - ME!

You try and play nice. Play it cool. And they freakin' bite at you. WTF! They need shock collars.

Well anyways...letting it go now...

Our vacation was wonderful! For the most part DRAMA LESS!
(Metaphor: Drama - Person (people) coming on to your campsite making trouble.
'most part DRAMA LESS' - Person/people who find it funny scream profanities or throw rocks from a distance.)

I think this has been our best trip to El Paso so far. We had no agendas. We were there to see family. Some of them made their way to see us. It was great to see them and their families. (They have grown and are still growing!!) Those who we didn't see us had "agendas" but that's okay. Those we got to see is "who really counted".

I taught my mother in law to knit! I made a set of mary janes on the way down to TX. To have her fall in love them and so I let them go. I also made her another set. I think I mentioned that before. (Anyways... I need to make myself a set now...)

We got to spend some quality time with Louie's mom, brother's and sister Sonia. I miss them terribly! His mom is a strong willed open minded woman. A person that has accomplished so much from so many experiences. A mind I'd like to pick at for a long time and become more like. Louie's brother Ivan is a handsome man, inside and out. He is shy but has so much to say. If you stay quiet long enough you could learn so much about him. He is an intelligent guy, and I hope one day he finds a woman who truly cherishes everything he has to give. Louie's Brother T.J. is a cocky 20 year old who knows what he wants and no one is ever going to stand in his way. Watch out world! He is going to school to become a mechanic and he is loyal in everything he says and does. Sonia... we've had our quarrels. I was skeptical seeing her, but I am so glad I did. She is doing her best to better her life in so many ways. She even got engaged! I am so happy for her and I hope this is just the beginning to an amazing life.

I can't believe so much has happened in a week. I miss them all so much. Especially his mom and brothers. They are loads of fun and make room for lots of laughs. Julianna LOVES Ivan. When she first met him she didn't want to talk or be near him. By the time she warmed up to him, they were inseparable. She took him everywhere. "Come with me Ivan. Lets go sit down on the couch. Okay.. lets get up and walk. I'm thirsty!....." By evening time Ivan was beat! LOL!

Anyways. I feel better now that I have vented. To figure out dinner.... :/

To Be Surprised...

Wow... what a busy a vacation. Today is our last full day. Louie went out shooting with the guys. I am at his mom's house taking care of the kids while cleaning, doing laundry, starting dinner, and I just finished his mom's mary janes.

Last night his family had a cookout here. It was great to see some of his family. I hope to see my friend Kaid before we leave. I really should have called or left him a message earlier in the week, but we were busy.

Sat. we stopped in Albuquerque and spent the night. Sun. we went to the Zoo, and then drove to El Paso, and ate some Chicos Tacos. Which everyone loved except Mila, Lela, and Sergio. They just don't know what they are missing. Mon. the boys and Sonia put up the pool. The kids got to play in the shallow cool water. I went swimming on Tues. Lets just say I am still light, but I have browned a bit. It is in the 80's here and it's nice and dry. Not like Washington's 80's where the humidity makes it feel hotter. Wed. and Thurs. we ran some errands and ate dinner. I was also under the weather because of allergies. I feel better then I did a few days ago. I also was dehydrated which brought on a massive migraine. Fri. Like I said we had a cookout.

I find myself thinking in this time of "silence" or "alone time". Full of thoughts and emotions I have been too busy to think about. People passing. People leaving. Quarrels. New beginnings. New Life. Finding love.

I try to let go of things I cannot change. Things that only time can tell. (Only just time.) There are things you cannot put effort in. You've already put in the effort all you can do is wait. Hope there are answers. Who knows when they will come, or "if" in that matter.

I was hoping this vacation could help clear my mind. It has a bit. Made me have more of an appreciation for my husband, kids and Sonia. I will miss his Mom, Ivan and T.J. more. But I find that I still have things I need to find on my own and that is when the time comes in.

Tomorrow we leave in the afternoon. We will be driving home. We are hoping to stop at the Dairygold Cheese Factory. I guess we will see.

When we get home there is so much that needs to be done. We get CHEVY back, I really miss our dog! The girls go back to school. I have to get into gear to start saving to see my best friend in AL. Louie will be going on a weekend fishing trip in May. Then Juli and I will have birthdays in June. The girls end the school year. Then 4th of July, Mila starts summer school. Whaling Days, Avari's birthday,..... Then Louie and I will celebrate our 8 year anniversary in August. Then the Fair.........................................

Breaks will be determined by when and where there are stubbed toes, potty and meal breaks, and sleep...(WHATEVER THAT IS!)