Repeat...

I keep having these dreams. Mostly the same people. Occasionally the setting and time changes (Climate, morning, noon, night...). Sometimes I am there for a few hours that one time, sometimes overnight, sometimes I go back after I leave, and sometimes I get stuck there. I keep having these dreams, over and over. Sometimes I find exactly what I am looking for and other times it is indirectly found. Like I am there to meet someone(s), but they don't see me coming and I don't announce my arrival, or I do say I am coming then they show up or they don't. The dreams always end up the same. Sad. Broken hearted. But I am grateful for clarity.

Maybe it's about trust? Maybe I am afraid of failure? Or am I just setting myself up? Am I running toward a dead end?

Maybe I am reading and watching too much "cop" TV? Whatever it is. These dreams keep coming. They are weird. I try to explain them but I imagine they make sense to me but sound like jumble mush to everyone else. It's like reading foot notes to a book. You know people, places and a general idea what happened.. But you weren't there engaged in the book to know why it happened and how they felt.

Like Pride and Prejudice. You know that in the beginning Mr. Darcy can't stand Miss Elizabeth Bennet. Elizabeth can't stand his pride and anti-socialness. Elizabeth was proposed to by her cousin Mr. Collins, who is to inherit the estate her and her family live in. She turns him down, and then he proposes to her best friend Charlotte who is 28 (which is apparently is old and a burden to her parents). Later Mr. Darcy talks to Elizabeth against his "better judgment" telling her he loves her and asks Miss Elizabeth for her hand in marriage. Just after she had found out from his cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam that he taken part in taking his best friend Mr. Bingley away from her sister Jane. Then he bails Mr. and Mrs. Bennet from a financial burden by paying for Elizabeth's sister Lydia's husband's commission. Mr. Wickham was a childhood friend of his who turned money hungry and had earlier confessed his true love to Mr. Darcy's sister Georgiana and then left when he knew he wouldn't get a penny. Then Elizabeth finds out that Mr. Darcy paid for the wedding and Mr. Wickham's commission and it was supposed to be a secret. Mr. Darcy brings back Mr. Bingley to Jane when then Jane is then engaged. That same evening Lady Catherine de Bourgh (who's estate abuts Mr. Collins place) comes and asks Miss Elizabeth if the rumor is true that she is to engaged to her nephew Mr. Darcy. Because he is to be married to her daughter, and it was an arranged marriage since their infancy. Miss Elizabeth denies it. Mr. Darcy and Miss Elizabeth confess their love to each other and then are married.

Seriously, what a head ache. But if you haven't read the book or watched the movie, none of this will make sense. It's a jumbled up mess. And sounds like TOO MUCH DRAMA. But is truly a beautiful love story.

Oh clouds... I am surrounded by them. Dreams... real or not. They can feel like it. It can be joyful or full of mush! BLAH!.... to laundry and running errands it is.